Monday, September 04, 2006
Crikey!
"Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin, the Australian television personality and conservationist, was killed today by a stingray while filming off the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44.
"It was extraordinarily bad luck. It's not easy to get spined by a stingray and to be killed by one is very rare," said Shaun Collin, a University of Queensland marine neuroscientist.
Yes, it’s rare to be killed by a stingray -- because most people don’t walk up and start fucking around with stingrays.
Look, I like the Crocodile Hunter. It was great to watch him sneak behind a hippopotamus and sodomize it with a rattlesnake, but the only thing shocking about this guy getting killed by a stingray is that he wasn’t killed by a crocodile years ago.
"The guy was incredible. His knowledge was incredible," said wild animal expert Jack Hanna, "Yes, he did things a lot of people wouldn't do. I think he knew what he was doing."
Really, Jack? You think Mr. Killed-By-A-Stingray knew what he was doing? I think he thought he could play practical jokes on wild animals and not have nature turn around and bite him in the butt. And for a while it made him a chunk of money and earned him fame.
Then, while shooting a segment for a series called "Ocean's Deadliest" (I shit you not), he’s knifed in the heart by the deadly ocean itself.
Yes, it’s sad, but it’s not, as the Australian Prime Minister (I shit you not) John Howard said, (he was) “shocked and distressed at Steve Irwin's sudden, untimely and freakish death."
“Distressed” and “untimely,’ sure, no question. But “shocked” and “freakish,” not so much. Here’s a freakish death – “Stingray Kills Aquaphobe Wading in Kiddie Pool.” But for the Crocodile Hunter to be killed by a stingray- it is apropos.
"Apropos He Was Killed By A Stingray," how cool will that look on a headstone?
"It was extraordinarily bad luck. It's not easy to get spined by a stingray and to be killed by one is very rare," said Shaun Collin, a University of Queensland marine neuroscientist.
Yes, it’s rare to be killed by a stingray -- because most people don’t walk up and start fucking around with stingrays.
Look, I like the Crocodile Hunter. It was great to watch him sneak behind a hippopotamus and sodomize it with a rattlesnake, but the only thing shocking about this guy getting killed by a stingray is that he wasn’t killed by a crocodile years ago.
"The guy was incredible. His knowledge was incredible," said wild animal expert Jack Hanna, "Yes, he did things a lot of people wouldn't do. I think he knew what he was doing."
Really, Jack? You think Mr. Killed-By-A-Stingray knew what he was doing? I think he thought he could play practical jokes on wild animals and not have nature turn around and bite him in the butt. And for a while it made him a chunk of money and earned him fame.
Then, while shooting a segment for a series called "Ocean's Deadliest" (I shit you not), he’s knifed in the heart by the deadly ocean itself.
Yes, it’s sad, but it’s not, as the Australian Prime Minister (I shit you not) John Howard said, (he was) “shocked and distressed at Steve Irwin's sudden, untimely and freakish death."
“Distressed” and “untimely,’ sure, no question. But “shocked” and “freakish,” not so much. Here’s a freakish death – “Stingray Kills Aquaphobe Wading in Kiddie Pool.” But for the Crocodile Hunter to be killed by a stingray- it is apropos.
"Apropos He Was Killed By A Stingray," how cool will that look on a headstone?
